Joan is slowly losing her sense of innocence.
The children came around for trick or treat, and all I could think of, was that the parents could have bought them a lot more candy with the amount of money they spent on dressing the kids up as little monsters. What happened to childhood, happiness, and having fun?
As I get nearer and nearer graduation, I worry more and more about my future; job availability, career advancement, graduate school applications and eligibility, funding. It's just scary. Having to grow up; having to fend for yourself.
Working overseas just look really glamorous, but in reality, it just looks really good on the CV, and not really that good on the bank account unless you don't have to pay for housing.
By the time I graduate, the people that I am really close with would have left. So I'd be really alone.
It's just 3 years of my life, and I can do it.
3 years in exchange for future advancement. 3 years in exchange for a possible eligibility into grad school. 3 years in something that I don't want to do. 3 years for a line in my CV that says 'made in London'.
It's too late to turn back now, is it?
I'm really worried.
I really wish sometimes that I am really just the bimbotic airhead I appear to be. I really wish sometimes that all I care about was really just getting a boyfriend. I really wish sometimes that all I want is really just to lose weight. I really wish sometimes that all I get angry for was what people think about me.
I'm losing my innocence and I want it back.
I'm already tired before I even start.
------------------------------
I have 3 interviews lined up.
None of which I am really interested in.
None of which I applied for.
A fool-proof plan; a lonely road in sight.
A new way out; with no future light.
A confused mind; a need to run.
I need to run away now.
------------------------------
I wish I could trust enough to pray, for help, for salvation, like everyone else. I wish I could ask for help freely and believe wholeheartedly that it will come. I wish I was less cynical, about life, about religion, about hope. I wish I was like everyone else.
The children came around for trick or treat, and all I could think of, was that the parents could have bought them a lot more candy with the amount of money they spent on dressing the kids up as little monsters. What happened to childhood, happiness, and having fun?
As I get nearer and nearer graduation, I worry more and more about my future; job availability, career advancement, graduate school applications and eligibility, funding. It's just scary. Having to grow up; having to fend for yourself.
Working overseas just look really glamorous, but in reality, it just looks really good on the CV, and not really that good on the bank account unless you don't have to pay for housing.
By the time I graduate, the people that I am really close with would have left. So I'd be really alone.
It's just 3 years of my life, and I can do it.
3 years in exchange for future advancement. 3 years in exchange for a possible eligibility into grad school. 3 years in something that I don't want to do. 3 years for a line in my CV that says 'made in London'.
It's too late to turn back now, is it?
I'm really worried.
I really wish sometimes that I am really just the bimbotic airhead I appear to be. I really wish sometimes that all I care about was really just getting a boyfriend. I really wish sometimes that all I want is really just to lose weight. I really wish sometimes that all I get angry for was what people think about me.
I'm losing my innocence and I want it back.
I'm already tired before I even start.
------------------------------
I have 3 interviews lined up.
None of which I am really interested in.
None of which I applied for.
A fool-proof plan; a lonely road in sight.
A new way out; with no future light.
A confused mind; a need to run.
I need to run away now.
------------------------------
I wish I could trust enough to pray, for help, for salvation, like everyone else. I wish I could ask for help freely and believe wholeheartedly that it will come. I wish I was less cynical, about life, about religion, about hope. I wish I was like everyone else.
posted by me at 1:20 PM
1 Comments:
tsk! so sad case meh?
HUG.
just ask God to help you :)
hahaa. it's that easy!!!
heehee.
i'm sure He'll help you realize truth and you'll know it!
don't worry so much... no point. hahaha.
i scare myself silly all the time too.
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