Horoscopes say that I have a big love-life choice to make this coming August!

:)

I know friend will laugh if he saw that I am reading my horoscopes again, but it doesn't really matter. I guess to a lot of people, they like to see that they can sort of 'control' the things that nooe can control, and horoscopes are sort of a way that people feel that they are controlling those uncontrollable elements in their life. Or at least catch a glimpse, no matter how twarted, of what may happen that they can't control in the hope that they can brace themselves for it.

I don't really believe in it; but i like to read them, and i find no fault in doing so because it keeps me entertained for that few moments.

There is no right or wrong in life; just a difference in views.

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I like my European culture company; I never did realise that there was a difference until everyone started complaining about how bad the situation was at their American ones, when i finally realised that there was a great gap in culture between the two. I have never had the problem of asking anybody any questions, and they were more than willing to teach; which was really a blessing because I don't really ask questions, I just absorb.

Even the interns are great to each other, unlike all the cat fighting that I've heard about at other companies, people being selfish; people turning selfish and becoming increasingly repugnant.

I really like the people at my work place, their openness, their ability to be so nice 24 hours. But i think to a great extent, I'm not given enough to show any of my capabilities. I need to be doing more, but have no idea where to start. And it's already half way. I feel a little sad, and pointless.

I wish there was no merger. I think it's so hard to find a place that you really do like, and now it's going to be diffused into a subset of another company where noone knows what the culture will diverge into. Also, is the probability that they are not giving out any job offers given that the future of the company itself is unknown.

Na-bei.

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I know if i bothered to stop and think for a moment, everything will come rushing right at me; the truth that I have been avoiding for ages, because of my own refusal to see. The things that I've lost, gained, loved, hated. A sub-plot of the very same story that has been replayed over and over again, like a bad dream that wouldn't stop night after night.

A lot of things are just right there; just short of acknowledgement.

Fantasy versus reality; tell me what do i believe? Do I believe in what i think could be there, or what i think is already there?

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Things have changed.

Like I've always said, 'nice' is highly comparable entity; when placed side by side amongst different degrees and variations, and ultimately ranked, it loses its meaning and no longer seem as glamourous nor as significant as before.

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I keep losing the things I believe in.

I'm grabbing on to a mobile pole, sliding along, up and down.

And the last thing that I'm holding on to, is Hope. Hope that things happens for a reason, not just a random occurance; to bring about a better possibility, a better day at the end. Or perhaps, to another route that was undiscovered before then.

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I hate my bed being stucked in the middle of nowhere.

I feel a sense of falling.